About Anonymous Suburban Mom

My story may or may not qualify for your book but who knows maybe it could be used somewhere along your book writing journeys. It all begins as a recent college grad I break up with my college boyfriend of 4 years and go to work for Enterprise Rent-A-Car in their award winning trainee program, get a new apartment in Naperville with a friend, a new car, and start living it up as a single business woman ready for the world. As time went on the bar scene got old and my roommate who I expected would be my daily buddy began to not be at home much. I found myself in a very lonely place, looking forward to going to work each day to see my only real comfort group of friends. Each week the loneliness became worse, the lifestyle that once looked so glamorous partying, having my own money and life became empty. I thought how could this be when growing up I had shifted my wants and desires from a husband/family/suburban life to being the go-getter miss independent, who could fend for herself. As things got worse I fell into a bad relationship where 2 people who had many past hurts were trying to love each other. He ended up moving in with me and 8 months later I was pregnant. A somewhat interesting situation to be a college grad, on your own, and pregnant but at the time it was our baby boom of the 2000 and it seemed to be the cool thing to do to be pregnant, single and full-time business woman. I think at this time Katie Holmes was pregnant, Angelina Jolie and others in 2005. There is a much longer story behind the man in this story, who had more problems than were revealed at that point, mostly dealing with alcoholism and serious co-dependency issues, I went from young independent professional to someone who was supporting a leech, a baby and herself. After having the baby found myself in serious medical debt, among other bills that were hard to pay for with all the new expenses and no additional help. I began to wonder how I could now achieve that suburban happiness with such a mess and a child who I wanted to raise with a normal life. I began to think it was impossible. I would meet with church mentors, friends, counselors, which helped some but would always end up reverting back to staying with this guy who was treating me so badly and didn't provide. Being a firm believer in the God of the Bible I clung to my faith each day to help me through and made baby steps with God to get me where I am today. As a child I was sexually abused and unfortunately due to that it caused me to struggle with boundaries in relationships. I had to learn to set those boundaries. I also learned to be content in whatever circumstances, be that a nice house or an apartment, or providing the best things for my daughter or not. My dream in the back of my mind was that great suburban life, loving husband, house, school across the way, Zoe in the yard playing and all those things seemed to be out of grasp for me. Having a child was a huge responsibility on my own to provide for her and also go give 100% each day at work. My career became shaky because I was so physically tired and stressed, I changed careers and tried outside sales, which ended up being worse trying to work from home with a child. I actually used to drive through this new subdivision in Oswego that had beautiful new homes and children playing and would cry because I new I could not provide that for my daughter. I cried out to God, "Why do I have to go through all this, why?" As I grew in the Lord I started to realize I had to surrender all these things. The Lord began to help me be happy whatever I had, wherever I was, and I did. I moved around for many months and finally moved back home with my parents, which I really didn't want to do but had no choice. I didn't realize it at the time but God had a plan bigger than I could see. After being there a couple months, my mom read my journal and found out about my abuse as a child, within that same week my father told her he had been having an affair of about a year with a woman at work, and everything hit the fan. God was there through this difficult time, and I realized God had to return me to my home to deal and face all these things and also help my mom who was experiencing the most difficult things in her life. A year later my mom made it out on the other side and stuck with my father who was repentant and wanting to work things out with her. I moved back to Naperville into another apartment. God still had things to deal with me on my own. I knew going back on my own meant facing Zoe's father who I figured would try to seep back into my life. Not surprisingly he did just that and I really had to work to develop new boundaries. As I was faithful to God in what He wanted he was faithful to me. This past February my lease was up and remember that subdivision I used to drive through? Well I now live in a beautiful townhome there with the schools right across the street. Zoe plays in the yard and I know with all my heart that God opened that door for me. It wasn't a place I found but a place that found me once I learned the secret of being content no matter the circumstances. The Bible says in Phillipians 4:12 "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Paul writes this as a man who has been imprisoned, who has lived well at times and in fear of his life at times. I looked to his example on days I had milk in my refrigerator and days I did not. I am still not married and have no boyfriend, however God has filled that place in my heart and daily I thank him for the great suburban life I now live with my daughter. I love my life and I know things may not always be this way but He fills that void each day for me. I also have a small business with my mom making Billie Bags or reclaimed billboard bags and we give a percentage of profits to helping marginalized women. God has opened the door for us to reach out to other women, single mothers, divorcees and women who are lost and hopeless. I try to be a light in those circumstances and people wonder how I am so happy and joyful even in the dark times. God doesn't promise a happy life but he does promise He will be with us no matter what and He comes true on his promise without fail. Cars will deteriorate, houses get breakdown, family's can fail, husbands can let us down, businesses can falter, so we have to put our trust in what is faithful and will never let us down. That is why God tells us to build our foundation on the Rock and not the sand. He tells us not to live for the world or anything in the world, if we put our stock in these things, material things, family, friends, etc... at some point they will let us down. I have chosen to trust God and no matter what He does not let me down and is the true key to a successful survival on this earth.